Sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m typing on mobile. I’m not 100% sure it’s TE that I’m dealing with because the wait to see a doctor is insanely long right now, but from what I’ve learned about it, I’m pretty sure it’s what’s happening to me. It lines up with when I got covid and underwent a ton of stress surrounding it. I noticed my hair starting to shed excessively about a month ago, and it’s been getting worse and worse over the course of the month. I’ve been doing my best to hold it together but yesterday was the worst day of shedding I’ve had by a long shot, and I’m really starting to notice the difference on my scalp. I had a total meltdown in the shower and haven’t really been able to pick myself up since.

I’ve actually shaved my head before, so I feel like I shouldn’t be so attached to hair. I know it’s not the end of the world to not have hair. I shaved my head my senior year of highschool, and I’m now a senior in college. I was in a really bad relationship when I buzzed my head and growing it out has, as silly as it might sound, been very symbolic for me. I started growing it out right around when I met my current partner, and it’s gotten pretty dang long. In my head, I’ve been growing out my hair for two things; my college graduation and my wedding someday. I graduated highschool with a buzzcut in the height of the pandemic and I wanted to be able to compare pictures of me at graduation and see how far I’ve come. It also just represented a healthier start to my life and growing out of an abusive relationship. All of that in mind, having my hair fall out has is feeling incredibly painful. I know it’s just hair and it’s not actually what makes or breaks my healing and well-being, but losing that symbol has been so sad. I’ve worked so hard these last three or four years to grow into a stronger, more resilient form of myself, and yet I’m still stuck sobbing over hair even though I’ve chosen to live without it before.

Anyway, any support is appreciated. It’s been a really hard couple of days and I’m struggling to hold it together.