My 'List of Lists':

LIST: LIST OF LISTS

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This - well, it started as one rogue idea. Of course, that was only _my_ idea. The story - and some readers - had different ideas. So it turned into three. Or maybe more, because the third one - well. That's another story entirely. Or maybe the same one... time till tell. But since they're all part of a whole, I'm going to put this header on all of them. So - part the first. SUNSET. It's called 'Ben's story' - but I wasn't really writing about Ben. I was writing about - well, someone else. Because I wanted to try to write a character nobody liked - without telling readers not to like her.

Anyway. After I'd posted SUNSET in r/ginewildaudio, it was - well, let's say not badly received. And people _hated_ - well, the one I wanted them to hate. But then I began to wonder. What if? What if, by telling things from _her_ perspective, maybe she wasn't what she'd seemed? That maybe none of us are what other people sometimes think, if we could only get to tell _our_ side of the story? So I wrote MIDNIGHT. And then - well, people asked 'what about...'. The third character, Was she really just a place marker? It turned out she wasn't - in DAWN. And that led to - well, to a number of things, and maybe even a novel one day. But here it is. The sun is going down - and it's getting cold.

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SUNSET (Ben's story)

I remember the first time I subbed for you.

I was eight. So you were seven. And you’d said all summer that Old Man Spencer’s orchard was going to lose every apple it had, and we were going to be the ones to take them. And I heard you say we, and my eight year old heart pounded. And we went to Old Man Spencer’s, and we went in, and you told me to climb the tree, and to get the apples. And I was scared, but you kissed me. And I knew it was OK to be scared, so long as you kissed me. So I climbed the tree, and I pulled down the apples. And I got down, and you said we’d go to the next tree. But Old Man Spencer, he’d heard us. And he was coming, and his dogs were with him. And you told me to take the apples, and you ran off—and Old Man Spencer, he found me, and he took a great big stick, and he whupped me good. And he whupped my ass, and he whupped my legs, and he whupped my back, but I never ever told him about you being there. So he had to he let me go. And I went to you, and I showed you the marks and the bruises—and you got that glint in your eye. And you kissed them.

I think that was the first time I got hard. But I can’t remember. Why can’t I remember?

See, you kissed them, but you got mad too. I don’t know now if you got mad because old Man Spencer had put those marks on me, or because you hadn’t, and you wished you had. But you got mad, and you got all your girl friends to come over. You made me take my clothes off, and you showed them the marks Old Man Spencer had made. And I got hard again, and you laughed.

I liked it when you laughed.

And that was the first time I was your sub. Even if I had no idea what I was. Even if maybe you didn’t either.

Damn, it’s cold.

But I didn’t stay eight, and you didn’t stay seven. So when we were in high school, and you needed a date for the dances, it was always me you asked. And you’d dance with me a few times. And I’d get hard. And you knew I was getting hard, and you’d touch me. You’d dance close to me and you’d press your breasts against me and you’d slide round me—and I’d get harder. And you’d laugh, because the only reason I was there was so you could dance with Katie Clark, because nobody would guess what you and Katie would be doing after the dance if they thought you had a boyfriend. So I’d get hard, and after the dance, we’d get in my car, and I’d drive. And I was hard—so very hard. And you and Katie would be in the back seat, and I’d hear you, and I’d hear you undressing, and I’d hear you kissing, and I’d hear what you did.

But I’d just drive. And I wouldn’t turn round. Because you’d be mad with me if I turned round. And I was yours, and I loved you, and it didn’t matter about Katie.

It really is cold.

And I remember the first time you pegged me. We didn’t call it pegging then. We didn’t really call it anything. You just told me to go to the store nobody ever wanted to be seen going into, and you told me to get the thing. So I went there, and I told the guy I was going to play a trick on a friend. And maybe he believed me, and maybe he didn’t, but I didn’t care. Because I was doing what you wanted me to do—what you’d ordered me to do. And even while I was doing it, while I was buying it, I got so hard. Because you’d told me what it was for—that you were going to love me. And I brought it back to your place, and you told me to stand still, and not to move and not to touch you. And you unbuttoned your shirt, and you took it off, and you undid your bra, and you took it off, and it was the first time I’d ever seen your breasts, because I never looked round when you and Katie were doing things in my car. And your breasts were so very lovely and your nipples were so very hard. And I knew that because you brushed them over my chest.

And I was bad, because I knew I wasn’t supposed to move, but my cock moved. And you laughed, and you said I was a bad boy. And you slapped my face, and you slapped my cock. And I got harder. And you took off your skirt, and you took off your panties, and you stood in front of me and you stroked my cock with your pussy. But you told me I still couldn’t move. And you stroked me, and you stroked me, and I knew it was going to happen. But you laughed again, and you said I didn’t deserve it yet, because my cock had moved when you brushed my chest with your nipples. And you took me to your bedroom, and you said I had to be punished for letting my cock move. And you said you had to tie me to the bed so you could punish me, so I lay down on the bed. And you tied my wrists and you tied my ankles, and you spread me open, and my cock was so fucking hard. And you said it wasn’t my cock. You said it was your cock. And you kissed it and you licked it, and you told me if I let it happen, if I made a mess, you’d be very angry with me. And it wasn’t easy, and I tried to be a good boy. But you still smacked my cock, and you said I hadn’t been good enough. You said I’d never been good enough. And you laughed. And that was when Katie came into the bedroom, and she didn’t have any clothes on either. And you told me I had to watch, and you told me I had to be a good boy. And this time you and Katie weren’t in the back of the car, and I wasn’t driving, and I had to watch—and Katie laughed at me too. And that was OK, because I was being a good boy for you. And when you were done with Katie, you put the thing on, and you untied me, and you told me to get on my hands and knees, and you got behind me—and you did it. And it was wonderful. Because I was yours. And when you were done, you took it off, and you gave it to Katie, and she put it on, and she got behind me and she did it too. And you gave me to her, and that was OK, because you could only give me to her if I was yours to give, and I was—I really was.

I’ve always been yours.

I think there’s a storm coming. It’s getting darker.

And when you told me we were going to be married, I was so happy. And it didn’t matter if Katie was going to live with us, because all I wanted was for you to be happy, and all I wanted was to be part of what made you happy. And it was OK when I got tied to the bed, and it was OK when you and Katie licked me, and kissed me, and sucked me, and I’d got better at being a good boy and never making a mess. And it was OK when you used the whip on me, and it was OK when you smacked my cock. Because it made you laugh, and it was always so good to hear you laugh.

I wish I could hear you now. Hear you laughing.

And when we came out today, it was scary when you told me to steal the car. But I was a good boy, and I did as I was told. And it was scary when you ran into the gas station. But you were laughing, so I knew it was OK. And it was scary when you ran out, and the man ran after you. And he had the gun, and he was aiming at you. But I’m a good boy. I’m your good boy. And I can run fast! So I ran, and I got there in time. I got there, and the bullet, it didn’t hit you. And I’m sorry I fell down, but it must be OK. Because you laughed when you saw me, and I always love it when you laugh. You laughed, and my cock got so hard—so very hard. And you took the car, and you drove off.

And I hope you find Katie, Mistress. Because it’s getting cold, and you shouldn’t be cold. And there must be a storm coming, because it’s getting dark, and you shouldn't be out in a storm. And I think you must have tied me to the bed, because I can’t get up. And I’m so very hard, and I think I’m going to make a mess. And I’m sorry if I wasn’t a good boy, Mistress. I’m sorry if I make a mess. But I’ll try to be good. I’ll try…

It’s darker now. And it’s colder. But I so want to hear you laugh. So I try again.

I remember the first time I subbed for you……