Mod please remove if not allowed. I want to give caution to beginners looking to learn tantra for the sake of sexual healing to not pursue ISTA (international school of temple arts) which is culty and ruined my life

I participated in an ISTA level 1 training a few years ago. ISTA (International school of temple arts) is a training that deals with sexuality and large group awareness under the guise of tantra.

This type of experience puts the participants in extremely vulnerable positions, deals with strong energies and exposes them to an entirely new reality of open sexuality that a lot of people have never experienced or known possible, which creates a sort of high. And then coming out of it, they tell you not to tell anyone about what happened there.

I had never done anything like that before and became totally intoxicated by the ISTA culture, the leaders within it, the idea of being “liberated” and creating a new life centered around that reality, believing it was the answer to the troubles in my sex life. I thought nobody from outside of ISTA would understand me ever again. After ISTA I blew up my life that I loved and had worked hard for, to become immersed in the ISTA culture, again thinking they would be the only ones to understand and accept me. When I got back home I abruptly I left my loving committed long term partner & soul mate (who accepted & encouraged me to go to ISTA because I was seeking to heal sexual trauma), my home, my job, my friends, and my city.

Two years later, I realize that none of the people from ISTA are my true friends, most have disappeared from my life, a lot of them are broke (which I am now too) and a lot of the ongoing community is swept up in group think mentality and worshipping some of the leaders. I gave up everything I cared about and loved most for this and am now coming to realize it’s a cult and extremely toxic, and the sexual liberation high does not last forever. I take full responsibility for my actions. It’s extremely painful and I hurt so many people around me too.

I wanted to post this to encourage anyone considering ISTA and looking on this page to proceed very, very carefully. There is some good stuff in ISTA, but don’t idealize it and now I understand it is NOT tantra. Don’t think that your loved ones back home won’t like or understand you anymore (because they will). Don’t make any major life changing decisions for at least several months or a year after. Don’t think the people you trauma bond with during the training will stick around and become forever friends. And don’t idealize the facilitators/leaders in the field. This training is a way to pull back the curtain and look at yourself and the world through a different lens, but it is not the “answer” and it CAN be integrated into whatever your current reality is.

I hope this helps someone, anyone to learn from my mistakes.