kinda long

Is taking a break from therapy ok?

I’m just so frustrated with my lack of progress in trauma therapy lately. Things have also started to get heavier to talk about and deal with. I did EMDR for only 2 sessions and it affected me a lot….and I’ve been telling my therapist that I don’t feel like doing it “today” for the last 3 weeks. Really it’s because it’s too hard for me to do and I don’t want to admit that to her because it makes me feel like a failure ….and also because at one point I was so frustrated that I told her she wasn’t pushing me hard enough…..

which now I know is not true because I’ve come to realize that even attempting to touch the surface of my trauma is TOO MUCH for me to handle. So she was right in going slow.

Anyways, since I accused her of not helping me enough at my last session, she decided it was best to not schedule for the next week so I can think about what I want to do. Anyways I text her to ask her if we still had an appointment scheduled for Tuesday since it’s a standing appointment…and she didn’t reply and I don’t think she will. I think she wasn’t me to take the initiative to reach out again and formally ask her to schedule an appointment….and that probably won’t happen because I anxious and hateful.

….So now I’m thinking maybe I should just take a break from therapy and just let my life happen however it happens. Maybe I just need to live my life without therapy to finally accept the way things are. A lot of people do it…maybe I could too.