I've been seeing my therapist since about September or so, and I really don't feel much better off. Part of that is my fault, but part of that is also her not being right for me. She's pretty self-helpy and we do a lot of progressive muscle relaxation and other exercises like that, which, while definitely helpful, doesn't really feel like it's quite enough. I'm on my third mental breakdown in the past twelve months, I feel like I need some hardcore CBT or something right now.

However, as I mentioned, I'm currently going through a rough mental episode(to put it lightly). The experience of going through all that without any mental health resources was really harrowing. Especially when you feel like you need help now, but you're looking at 3 month waitlists. What ended up happening is that I went into a partial hospitalization program, and the hospital that ran the program set me up with a therapist(the current therapist) there. Having a therapist connected to a hospital is pretty huge benefit, she's been able to refer me to the psychiatrist there to get medication when I need it, and I basically have everything the hospital offers at my disposal. Also, my insurance is covering all of this.

Even though I don't think we're getting anywhere with my therapist, I feel like we have a really good rapport. I like her and feel more connected with her than probably any therapist I've had in the past.

So, I'm stuck in a rut here. On the one hand, I'm going through some pretty horrible mental issues right now, and I feel like I need something more intensive than what my therapist is offering. On the other hand, I'm going through some horrible mental issues and can't think straight enough to figure what I need and how to get it in a timely manner. I can't figure out if it's a psychiatrist I'm looking for, or a mental health hospital, and the thought of waitlists is running through my mind, and what if I can't find the right therapist or I start with someone and it's the same issue, not enough is getting done, etc. Also, I need my insurance to cover all of this, I'm not in a position where I can afford to pay a ton of money at all.

Bottom line is, I'm having serious anxiety issues and I need serious help. However, I don't know how to find the help I need and I don't want to abandon the support of my therapist when I need it most.