I had my third session a while ago. Usually my anxiety would be through the roof every time I stepped into my T’s office. I would be so tense that I had shoulder pain that lasted a little more than a day. That day however, I woke up in a strangely good mood and when I went to my appointment I was actually fine! I’m always curious about how things start at the beginning of sessions and that time I was able to get it. It starts off as idle conversation then it would branch off into various topics.

That session was mostly quiet as I introduced a log book that I started. In that little notebook I limit myself to 5 lines and I would write a bit about my day and what my emotions were. I used green for good, yellow for meh, orange for almost bad day and red for really bad day. He complimented my idea and called it ingenious, seeming very impressed. He read my logs and when he came across something interesting we’d talk about it and go in depth about why I felt that way and dealing with it. He also took a look at my drawings and liked them a lot. The explanations for each one helped me to realize and relive what I felt as I created them. I saw how far I came mentally from that dark place.

My favorite part from that session was when he was talking to me and suddenly paused when a vehicle outside passed by honking its horn repeatedly. At first I thought he was annoyed, but to my surprise he was laughing. He tried to contain it but it kept slipping out. When he saw the way I looked at him he simply said, “I love wacky horns”. I found that hilarious and it helped me to feel a little more at ease. I always try to learn from him because I’m studying in the field of psychology. I would try to analyze the way the session flows so that I could apply that practical knowledge it in future. Finally, since the session went well and I was asked if I had any questions, I sheepishly asked if I could have two sessions a month instead of one. Usually I would never ask such a thing because I fear people’s reactions and rejection, but I did it! My good mood was still going strong and I made the most of it.

I guess this is more of a reflection? Idk