Yesterday I had my last appointment with my therapist before she moves away. I gave her a note I wrote and a trinket we had talked about before. She thanked me for the gift and said it was real thoughtful of me and she appreciated. I wished her luck on her move and I was out of there. In my head before the session and when it was time to leave I just wanted to ask "Hey, can I have a hug?" I don't really like hugs honestly I like the idea of hugs in my head, but still I wanted to ask her. But, I didn't I just felt awkward doing so; hell we didn't even do a handshake goodbye.

I mean we still have a session next week, but it will be over webcam/mic since she'll be on the other side of the country and I'll be where I am at. I asked her for her email so I can send her my journal/notes I write throughout the week about how I'm feeling and events. I did write about the whole hug thing and wanting to cry in session.

But, I'm also feeling that I should delete it cause it's awkward and I don't necessarily want her to read that. Like I've never mentioned my suicidal ideation I don't want to have that talk either, but I'd rather have that conversation then the ones about my feelings about not asking her for a hug and wanting one. I mean she could'be said no and I would've of been okay with that. But, I hate not asking and now it's impossible.

I also feel the note I wrote should've had actual substance in it I just wrote what I wrote down was the oath for the Indigo Tribe form the comic books cause that's what we had discussed a while back. It was just thought it be a fun gesture. I didn't explain that to her though I guess I should when we have our Skype session next week.