I am currently staying at a friend's and sleeping on his couch. I am so grateful for my friends generosity at a time when I'm up against some unforeseen circumstances.

The catch? He's got a dog. I think it would be best if I list everything his dog does that either annoys me or is repulsive. Here goes:

-this dog puts its mouth on everything, sometimes randomly licking aforementioned couch and pillows

-it's free range, comes in and out as it pleases and in-between lays on the... you guessed it couch

-it smells like a dog, the couch smells like a dog, my pillows and my clothes smell like a dog

-when driving down the long driveway to leave for work it runs out in front of the car, it's darted directly in front of me a handful of times

-it likes me and wants attention from me which it indicates by trying to lick me... also smells like dog

-it tore up my journal/notebook, what remains smells like dog

-it chews its nasty bones and toys... on the effing couch

-because it can go in and out as it pleases there is a dog door, the elderly and obese neighbor dog let's itself in, the other night around 2 am I awoke to it staring at me while sleeping on the couch

-did I mention the dog smell?

End.