First table of the morning walks in, and I'm hosting. Ask how everyone's doing, get ignored in favor of five adults taking snapchat selfies around the host stand. Ok, fuck y'all too. Ask how many adult menus and kid menus, finally get told five adults and one kid.

Collect menus,start giving them the 'tour' of the restaurant. Take them to their table, which is one of the best ones for the group size. Near the waterfall, they get the view of all the animatronics, view of the thunderstorm.

"We don't want this table." I almost never get guests that don't want that table. I get guests throwing hissy fits when they can't have that table, but never them saying they don't want it. "Well, ok. I have a few tables over here in this area", which are in our 'grotto' underwater cave.

"We want that one." Points to the ten-top next to the elephants. Keep in mind that this is a Saturday, and I have a stupid amount of reservations, including, but not limited to a number of large parties--one of which arrives at 11:30. It's 11. I don't like putting six tops at big tables because it's stupid and unorganized. So, I make a joke. "Sure, you can have that table if you can find four more people, but I do have a lot of reservations for large parties which I'll need to accommodate."

"But it's empty now!" "But these reservations will be coming soon." "Does it matter? We're the only ones here!" He's starting to get loud.

Reservations. In the future. As in will be coming soon. I could argue, but fuck y'all. I walk over to the table they want, drop the menus and start picking up silverware. Immediately, the guy is pointing at me, yelling that he wants to speak to my manager. Right.

Grab my manager, who goes over and talks to them, then I talk to him. Apparently I 'slammed' the menus on the table. I know I have issues with attitude, but the one thing I do is keep it in check, even when I'm just really tempted to tear a guest a new one. The slamming the menus became an issue because I "scared the baby."

Two things. The 'baby' was still at the original table, twelve feet away. We have music playing, a waterfall, and animatronics. She would literally have to have supernatural hearing to be scared.

Also, the baby was 7.

So, the incident made it into shift notes, and I have since been teased excessively by everyone who has heard the story. Fear me, scarer of small children.

(Also, I worked twelve hours without a break and put my two weeks notice in because fuck this place, but that's a story for another time)