I ended up picking up a hosting shift today, due to the scheduled host quitting yesterday (That and I have absolutely fuckall to do). It's been nearly a year since I've worked morning hosting shifts during the week, so I've managed to purposely block out several key factors--namely the fact that the A.M. host during the week is usually the only host on, and retail does not answer you when you ask for a wait.

In any case, things were going semi-decently, pretty steady flow of people. Then, we get a table that comes up, a woman, her mother, and her two-year-old. They request something near the elephants, where the only table I have unseated is a ten-top and the busser is nowhere to be seen. I explain to them that I only have the ten-top open, and that it could be anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes for the next closest table to leave, but not to count on it because people linger sometimes. The woman's mother proceeds to give me the puppy eyes, because it's the two-year-old's birthday, and he'd just love to sit near the elephants.

This kid is more interested in trying to eat his mom's camera strap than he is the animals, but ok. After yesterday, when I told a guest no, and my manager immediately turned around and did the thing I said I couldn't, I've stopped trying to argue.

So, I split the table after it's bussed, get the high chair set up and them seated. Get back to the host stand, and there's another family, this one of four, with the daughter screeching that she must sit by the elephants. Not wants to. Actually, literally has to, or else she's not going to eat. I point to a six top that's two tables away from the one I've just broken in half which has recently been vacated, because the other half of that table would be a super tight squeeze for the server to get into. Her mother is ok with it, so's her dad. The little girl?

No, it's not close enough! "Mommy, pleaaaaaaaaase. I need to be right next to the elephants!" She's hanging onto her mom's arm, stomping her feet and pouting. Her mom looks at me, because it's my job apparently to persuade her kid otherwise. I explain to the parents that A) It will be a very tight fit for them, and that B) Whoever is on the side closest to the elephants will have them trumpeting in their ears every ten minutes, and it's not for the faint of heart (or a kid with still developing ears).

Mom tries to talk her daughter out of wanting the table. Kid's reaction is to fall to the ground, half-dragging her mother down with her. Mom just looks at me. K, fine. Y'all can have the table, you can put your kid's hearing at risk. I've got three parties waiting for me while you let your kid throw a hissy fit.

Get the table seated, get a high chair that immediately minimizes the amount of space that's barely available. Elephant chooses that moment to go off, and the little girl screams, happier than a pig in mud.

Meanwhile, the server for this section immediately gets on my case because there's just enough room for him to fit between the tables, but that's about it. I explain to him that I explained to the guests that it would be a tight fit, but they still wanted the table.

"You should have told them no!" Ok.