I would love to just post all of my great delivery stories here but for now I am just going to post what I can group into a single category, accidental racism.

I regularly pass by a restaurant I used to work at, called the Gandy. Every time I pass by and see any of my old coworkers, I like to say hi with my PA system (basically a microphone attached to a hidden speaker on the outside of my car). I saw a valet, someone who I never met, but I suppose I was in a good mood so I decided to call out to him. I said "Gandy" in my typical exaggerated and enthusiastic voice, but it came out more like an accented "Ghandi". So the Indian valet, who had no idea who I was, had someone yell Ghandi at them in a pseudo Indian accent. I was worried we would get a complaint on that one.

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The other night, there was a car in our lot with a car topper from a local chain. There was only one person in the store, so that must be their delivery driver. I bring my run out to my car, and the carryout customer, who just so happens to be black in our 99% white city, is walking towards the car with the car topper on it. So I shout over to him in a semiserious tone "looks like you're in the wrong neighborhood" (we generally have a positive, playful relationship with the drivers from the local chain). He looks back at me, and runs off past the local chain car and down the sidewalk out of sight. Turns out the chain driver was inside at a table in the back, and that literally made me scare a man into running away.

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Saved the best for last. Delivery to a smaller frat. Next to there driveway and side door is a dumpster area enclosed by a tall brick wall, can only see the very top of the dumpsters from the driveway. I've called the customer and am waiting by the door. The whole time, I keep hearing rustling in the dumpsters. My first thought, as innocent as I thought it was, was an animal was digging around looking for a meal, probably a possum or skunk, or perhaps, even a raccoon. So the customer finally comes and is signing the receipt when the rustling comes back again, and the customer visibly notices the noise as well. So, to make light conversation, I blurt out "sounds like you've some coons in your trash!". As soon as I finished, a reply came from behind the wall "WHAT'CHU SAY?". Turns out there were two black homeless men digging through the trash collecting cans. I handed the pizzas to the customer and high-tailed it out of the driveway.