In many popular tourist destinations, there's a scam that involves flyers for oftentimes nonexistent pizzerias being placed on/under hotel room doors. The people who leave these flyers count on hotel guests calling the number on the "menu" to give their credit card info for the scammer to steal. At best, cold, low-quality good shows up hours late. At worst, no food shows up, just a whole bunch of credit card fraud. Great way to ruin someone's vacation.

Last week, while working PBX at an upscale chain hotel, I received a noise complaint about some kids loudly playing in the halls of the tenth floor. I go up there, and it's dead quiet. I then chatted with the guests who filed the complaint, letting them know that if anything else arises, feel free to call the desk again. When making my way to the elevator, I noticed plenty of these scam flyers on the guest room doors. I pick them up and throw most of them away. When I got back to the office, I decided to call the number on the one flyer I saved, so I could warn the "pizzeria" if any of them ever leave flyers in our hotel again, they'll be charged with trespassing. Here's the call...

Scam Pizzeria (SP): Thanks for calling (name of pizzeria), how can I help you tonight?

OP: Hi, I was wondering if there was a manager on duty I could speak with, please.

SP: Speaking.

OP: This is the (hotel name). I would appreciate it if you'd please stop leaving your flyers on our property. If you come back again, we'll press charges for trespassing.

SP: What are you talking about? There's a dozen (chain name)s in the area.

OP: This is the (chain name) on (road name) by the airport. You've been leaving your menus on the doors of our hotel rooms, and our guests have complained about getting their food hours late, along with unauthorized charges on their credit cards.

SP: Stop your insanity! We never leave menus at your hotel, that's bullshit!

OP: I'm sorry you feel that way. If we find you here again, we will press charges for trespassing.

SP: Stop your bullshit! You're confusing us with (name of another pizza scam operation)!

OP: We've warned them about a month ago not to leave their menus here, and they've stopped. Consider this your first and only warning. We will press charges if you set foot on our property again.

SP: Yeah, whatever. You have a tiny penis.

OP: I'm sorry you feel that way.

SP: Goodbye idiot.