Some of you have seen my crazy customer stories before, but this one I blocked out of my mind for years and it has recently resurfaced because of an incident that happened to me recently.

I worked for a bookstore for a few years as one of the managers and had come across my share of bat-shit insane customers, but this one was just so crazy I had to laugh at her. It was a nice sunny day when I'm standing at the information desk, organizing books to go back on the shelves when a lady stormed up to me and practically threw a piece of paper at me and just started yelling "I want my money back, you idiots!" Seeing that she was just going to be the most polite person I've ever helped I asked her what was wrong in my nicest, friendliest voice.

She picked up the paper that she had thrown at me that was laying on the counter and told me to read it. I looked at it and it was a bank statement with things blacked out all over the place with one thing highlighted. Now I want to mention that names of places were her card was used were blacked out with a marker but the amounts, her full address and checking account number were not blacked out. I looked at the highlighted line and the following conversation followed:

Me: Yes ma'm, it shows that you charged $358 here on August 3 (or whatever date it was), what seems to be the problem?

Her: This was a fraudulent charge! My son came in and used my card to charge that and I want my money back!

Me: Okay, so your son came in and purchased the items? Does he still have them?

Her: Yes, of course he does! I found them all in his room!

Me: Okay, well just bring the items back and we can do a refund.

Her: No, they were purchased without my consent, so he gets to keep them and I get my money back.

Me: Uh, wat? No, that's not how it works. You can bring the items back and return them and get the money back, or you can take it up with your credit card company.

Her: Good! That's what I was going to do in the first place but I thought I could come here and try and reason with you since your staff has always seemed intelligent, I guess I was mistaken!

Me: Okay, well before you leave, I just wanted to let you know that we have a camera there (pointing above me at the pillar where you can clearly see a camera) and if you do submit this to your credit card company as fraud, we have you on camera admitting that your son bought them, you have knowledge of that and you are refusing to return them. The credit card company will most likely find your claim to be fraud and enforce severe penalties upon you.

She then turns her big ass around and scoffs as she storms out of the store. She came in several times after that and wouldn't you know that we never got a letter from the credit card company saying that she was disputing the charge. The best part is, that our camera is one of those two second delay cameras without sound. So you could see her talking to me, but couldn't hear what she was saying and you only saw every other second. And for the record, I have no idea what her card company would have done if they found out she was committing fraud.