I've been working on eliminating porn from my life and I'm making progress. Most days I feel really good. Yesterday was rough even though it's Christmas. It was the first Christmas without the love of my life (or so I thought she would be) and sometimes family can really stress me out. Last night I was looking at a subreddit for sissies. I almost relapsed. I know fully well why I go to that stuff. I know deep down why but still I go to it. It's super arousing to me but I know it's not going to fix anything. I can't seem to even watch normal porn anymore. I'm not gay or a sissy or whatever it tells me to be. I'm a strong, confident man who wants someone to love him and have a family with. Only, I forget all that when I go down that rabbit hole. Guess I'm just venting but posting this helped. Hope it helps someone else to put things into perspective for themselves. Keep fighting everyone!