So I'm sure many of us here have done this or had a similar experience so I'm looking for some insight. I've stated before that I am addicted to porn and that sissy porn is a huge thing for me. Until recently I have never been with a guy before and only thought about it in a very vanilla way. I've always been curious about the same sex but deep down I know I'm not gay, I want a loving wife to have a family with someday. That said, I also want to try being with a guy. I see it as a one-time thing. There's the same guy I was with a few months ago that I have been in contact with. We started off as friends first and he's very understanding. It's just weird for me because when I am really horny (like last night) I want to give it a try with him. Of course, I want to dress up some and act girly while I do it. A part of me gets really aroused at this idea. So, my question to the group is, has anyone ever gone out and tried it to see if it's something you actually want? If so, how did it change you? Should I do it? I don't believe I'll turn completely gay or into a full sissy, in fact, part of me thinks I'll hate it but I'm open about my sex life so I want to experiment. Thoughts?

Update: thank you so much to everyone who commented. I know this is something that part of me wants to do but deep down I'm realizing it won't fix anything especially if many of you can attest to that so truly I appreciate ever single one of you. I've got a lot to think about and talk to my therapist with lol much love to all of you