As a child, I had some sort of mild form of synesthesia for numbers and colours. Some numbers (but not all) were strongly associated with colours in my mind (5=blue, 0=white), and I imagined colours to have personalities.

It disappeared as I grew up, and now I have to make an effort just try and remember those patterns. I chalked off as just a phase during my childhood, not 'real' synesthesia.

But, in my late teens and forwards, when I've become sexually active, I've started to "see" sensual experiences in colours and patterns. Not every time. But when I'm really relaxed and enjoying it, I close my eyes and I see patterns of colour. It doesn't have to involve genital contact, it can be a massage, bondage, and so on. But it doesn't happen with tactile contact that I don't consider erotic, such as holding someone's hand, or having a child on my lap.

It's only during these last two years (I'm 26) that I've started to understand that the majority apparently don't feel this way. My sex partners don't seem to get it when I say stuff like "wow, that was great! It felt so turquoise-black-white when you went down on me!".

Why I think it's synesthesia: I don't do this consciously. It seems to be an association between one sense and another (tactile-visual)

Why it possibly is something else: But the experience is not that consistent. It's not like a certain type of stimulation ALWAYS produces a colour. It seems to vary from time to time, but the room temperature has some sort of effect on it.

Also, these visions are not always abstract. Sometimes the patterns look like body parts or every day objects. It's rather unrealistic and dream-like though (blue disembodied hands, for instance).

Is this experience I have synesthesia/ideasthesia or something else? Does anybody else experience this? I've tried to google it, but I can't find anything.