So here is a quick overview of my situation. I am 39 my spouse is 45 we've been happily married for 6 year will be 7 in may. We've been monogomis the entire time. My spouse is my best friend and the first person I want to talk to or tell anything.

Over the last 7 years my spouse and i have gone through a lot including cancer, moving and family deaths. I know that they will be there for me and i hope they know that i will be there for them.

Our sex life is complicated and not only Reson i would like to Explore ENM.

Long before I met my current spouse i was Married for 10 years and the entire time my ex would cheat and lie annd couldnt be trusted though through that i did learn that i do like the idea of my spose with another partner.

It was while with my ex that i met my first swinger. This idea was foreign but intriguing to me even though i would suppress the idea only bringing it up on ocations over the year and when not resived well paying it off as a joke with both my ex and over the years with my current partner

Even before that i found the idea of sharing a parner to be interesting. The idea of groups and even watch is very appealing to me

With out all the little minusha they told me to go out and find a second spouce, which lead to a disagreement and wanted to know why i would really want something like that after a bit of soul searching i came up with the reason.

A month ago we talked about swinging as we left my cousins how. They said that they arent going to make it those relationships never work, wich i said that acording to the research that wasnt true. They then said that its not something the would do, except in our relationship but only if they had to. So i played it off with a laugh

Once i settled on the reason wich was that i really wanted to try swinging. Letting them know this led to a three day discussion with lots of reasons that it would end our marriage and that they are not enough. During this they said that they were not sure how they where going to over come this but i should do what i want or feel i need. They said that what if its not something they wants to do. They followed it up by saying they didnt want to know

At the moment i just sugetsed going to a party or club to check it out. Or what if its not something that she can get over. Am i in the wrong to say that as a couple it about comunication and if we arent going in the same direction then we should have a different conversation

So following that i out a few messages throw redit to get to know people and dip a toe. So i got to the point of tslking with some one where i wanted to meet them so told my spose whom felt betrayed which is something i unferstand as i felt i had to hide part of myself. I couldnt talk to my best friend the person i wanted to talk to the most.

I told them that i would like to do this together? What are some good rules and boundriess Is there a good way to get my desires across with out hurting them? What if they dont want to indulge? Does it work one sided? How do you help your partners with jealousy?

Additional information: First and foremost my intent was never to do anything with out my partners consent. My intent was just to try to talk to someone and get to know them as i was doing so infront of my partner i thought they knew.

It was this event that did eventually get a conversation about swinging that wasnt completely emotional on all sides. It is some that my partner would like to know more information on, and something that i am hopingvthat we can learn together. Most of the questions above are ones that they would like to know the answer to.

My sex life with them is amazing they are my home

The truth is that i want them to be happy and not feel that they have to change for me.

If their happyness isnt with me then i want them to be happy with someone who want what they want