So, I’m a recently divorced, single 49 year old male, who is trying to both explore this lifestyle and make my bi-curiosity become reality. I’ve been reaching out through AFF to couples looking for MMF threesomes. And … I don’t know. Been doing this since February of this year without any success. I’m sure that I make plenty of mistakes, and a lot of that lack of success is on me. But I’ve observed a number of things, and it’s still frustrating.

In general, I send a message introducing myself, saying - briefly - who I am, what I’m looking for, and that I more importantly want to be a good partner who helps facilitate what the couple might be looking for. I recognize that my message often can come across as canned, because sometimes it is. But that’s because a number of couple profiles don’t give much to work with. When there’s detail, I work to tailor it for the couple’s wants and need, if they’re a couple I think I might be compatible with. I also do my best to not bug people who state they, well, aren’t looking for me. (Don’t want someone over 40? Need someone with a 9 inch dick? Not me, so I don’t bother.)

I don’t get a ton of responses. I don’t expect a ton. I get it. What does frustrate and bother me, though, is when I do initiate a conversation, they tend to go well at first, and then the couple abruptly vanishes, or a meetup gets scheduled and they ghost me. (I’ve had three meetups go that way.) Again, if people lost interest, that sucks but I understand. Nobody ever says anything. I’m left to gather that either I’m too pushy (I don’t think so, but I admit maybe I’m wrong) or I say or do something that’s not wanted. I just wish I knew what that was.

Also, FWIW there’s a number of times I’ve chatted with a “couple” where I’m always only chatting with the male half. Never speak to the female half, and there’s times I think that’s not happening because there is no female half. Or one who doesn’t know they’re part of an advertised swinging couple, anyway.

I’m up for advice, if anyone has any. But I suspect a 49 year old male with limited availability for meetups just might be tilting at windmills when it comes to this LS.