My wife and I have been out of town, but are planning to go to the club again, soon. We had a 3-day long MFM fling in the spring, which was amazing except for being too damn intense for everyone. Then we went to the club and had long, passionate sex on a bed with a bunch of other couples, and it was super hot. We're mostly ready to start moving beyond, but my wife is hesitant. On the one hand, she has the most extraordinary sex drive. She's almost always wet, and semi-jokes that she's a nymphomaniac. But she's also somewhat jealous, is worried that all this will harm our strong and wonderful relationship, and is concerned about STIs. We already have frequent, amazing sex. And she has absurdly erotic dreams. So she's fairly satisfied, and unsure if the risks are worth the reward. But she'd like to explore more, as long as we're keeping things spontaneous. Sounds good to me.

So what's the problem? It's mainly that I want to prevent her from having a bad experience near the start. My concerns are twofold:

1. She is a very attractive woman, in the sense that she has handsome, successful men (and everyone else!) trying to pick her up everywhere we go. I'm conventionally attractive, too. Which should make things easier for us. But she's VERY picky about men. And, worse, she's from South America and finds the customs of American courtship boring, and American masculinity to be gross. So she's trying to push a FMF/FFM thing, this time. Which sounds great, in principle, but I have no desire to go unicorn hunting. Any thoughts on how I might help her soften her stance on men? Will it likely get better when we get into a context where things are hotter?
2. To address her jealousy, I know that she needs to feel centered in whatever's happening. I've proposed that we could find a couple and do a foursome, rather than swapping. That sounds ideal to me, honestly. But the men problem still applies. So let's assume the context of a FMF, if it ever happens. I'll be honest when I say that I tend to get really into whatever I'm doing as a lover. Even at parties, I sometimes get in trouble with her because I'll find someone I like talking with and spend 2 hours with them. I've talked to her about trying to be generous in interpretations of what's happening. And I've promised to try to keep her in mind at all times. Any advice on ways to make sure she feels included?

Been reading this page a lot, and there's lots of good advice here. Thanks in advance!