My wife and I were extremely active in the lifestyle for many years. We took a few years (12) off to focus on work, family, and the other usual life stuff... we decided it was time for US again and we started going to parties and different lifestyle resorts.

However...

I seem to have lost my confidence when interacting with others. I used to be very outgoing and LOVED to be around others, and could always find something exciting to get into. Since re-entering the lifestyle though I seem to be more laid back and afraid of being rejected. We are now 10 years older than we were when we were last active, as well as a little heavier. I am just not sure how to overcome this and there have been a few instances when getting back into it all seemed to push my confidence down further.

We were at a hotel event and were talking to a few couples who seemed interested, however out of the blue they just excused themselves and walked away. not more than a few minutes later we see the same couple with another couple and being very "handsy" then head towards the room's area just a few moments later. Had me second-guessing my ability to read the situation, maybe we said something or did not ask the right questions, or simply did not ask to go back to the room...

Another instance was at a house party, there were only 6 couples and everyone was getting along well. There was lots of mutual flirting, hugging, kissing, and general grouping.. then a bit later in the evening everyone was getting naked, and I heard one of the husbands point out to his wife that she may not be interested in me as I had the smallest cock in the room. Now mind you that I am not small, more of perfectly average, but it seems that everyone else there was above average except me. Made me feel very inferior, and we left.

So how do I overcome this? I have since been working our 5 days a week and following a very strict diet for the most part (still find myself eating emotionally, and overdoing it). I have managed to lose some weight, but not nearly as much as I feel I would need to "Fit in" with the majority of the crowd at the parties and events. this has resulted in making excuses NOT to go, which makes me feel worse and end up throwing my diet out the window and eat. only to feel worse about the eating and start the push all over again to get back on track...

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Any help is greatly appreciated....