*****edit #2***** I told him I was cool with everything and I was sorry and we were doing really good. She decided she wanted to be friends and so we started chatting and turns out, they’ve had a whole ass relationship for 2 years. She was telling me all the romantic things he did for her and would tell her. They would have movie night together with me knowing nothing laying in the bed next to him. I was ready to move on and start forgive and forget and then all that just swept the rug out from under me. If it had just been sex i would’ve been fine, we’ve done that with others. But a whole ass relationship. Now we are all in a group chat and they giggle and have these little jokes and she tells me “oh xx did this and xx said that “. They have nicknames for each other. I’m trying to be a good wife. I’m trying to go along with it. I wanted to be in the swinging life. Idk. I guess maybe I just needed to put it in the universe and off my heart.

edit* I see that yes I am indeed in the wrong. Thank you. I need to do some personal reflection!

My husband(33m) and I (34f) have been in the lifestyle since we got married, over 12 years now. I have more luck finding men to play with than he does women. I always share everything with my husband, who I’m talking to, what we are talking about, I send him screenshots and most of the time I end up creating a group chat. I end up bringing all my playmates home and we all play together. Well recently he found a female to txt and swap pics with and he went to her house Saturday for a session.
The think is, he shares nothing about her or what they talk about, etc. he told me nothing about their time together. And I’m hurt. I told him about it and he started telling me things about her which then just hurt worse bc it’s like I had to tell him to share. I told him to stop bc it just made it worse. I don’t want him to stop seeing her or anything. I’m just hurt and I don’t know how to get over it. Am I the ass? I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way that I’m being stupid which just makes me spiral further down this rabbit hole. Anyone have any tips tricks or whatever to help me get over myself? Tia