We decided as a couple early on that we would first have a casual meet and greet as a stand-alone date before anyone agrees to play. It’s usually at a pub or restaurant bar.

With that, we find the conversation usually stays very vanilla, work; hobbies, children, vacations etc. There is very little to no talk about sex or flirting.

That being said, the last 4 dates we’ve had; have worked out and we’ve arranged play dates.

The couples we meet are not necessarily in the lifestyle and it’s more of a side thing like us; and we are looking for more friends with benefits. Ie someone we can hang out with for dinner and then have fun..

Is this normal for initial conversations or should we make an effort to make it more sexual and flirty??