My wife and I aren't completely new to experiencing a few things, but only in a full-swap setting. We've wanted a MFM threesome (for double penetration) for a while, but for some reason, despite being openly-eager to try it, we haven't been able to make it work for 7 months. Funny enough it's always been the single guy who was flaky about it.

But going through the process of finally going out for drinks with a guy and discussing boundaries and expectations has finally given me some perspectives I'd like to share.

The Why.

I've seen some questions and comments around the topic of why a cis-hetero man would want and fantasize about DP'ing his wife? The simple answer is: I get-off to my wife getting pleasure.

As soon as my wife started enjoying anal sex, we thought about what it would be like if we could clone me. We danced around the idea of what celebrities we could do it with. We talked about if she could feel even more pleasure than a dildo in her pussy and me in her ass. When I fuck her in the ass, she screams and growls. She has had blended orgasms from us using toys. It's intense. It gives me a charge of pleasure when she's getting it good in a full-swap. We really want to experience the real thing.

DP isn't entirely the focus of course but it's the #1 reason for doing a MFM, at least for us.

In a threesome setting we can make her our focus and kiss, stroke, fondle, tease different parts of her while she giving and receiving. There are so many combos to sex between 3 people that I've almost thrown out my "sexual bucket list" because the pleasures that are possible are practically endless.

I know how it is to have my cock in a woman's mouth while my wife is teasing my back with a delicate touch. I'm going to see what I can do to her neck while her pussy is getting licked. DP is just one in a multitude of things that we want to try but I love how organically things move and ebb and flow. What I'm saying is: can't wait to try DP but I know that the whole experience is going to be amazing.

The other great thing about MFM is that I can sometimes take a break and watch the greatest porn movie ever made. My wife, with another cock. Some people could argue that I could just record myself, but ask yourself this:

Do you like watching the same pornstars/videos over and over? At some point you want variety, which is why you came to Reddit in the first place right?

I want to watch with my own eyes as my wife enjoys another man. At any point I can re-enter play and put my cock somewhere. We've done that before in a full-swap setting and it drives me insane with pleasure. Stiff and hard. Stiff like I was in my 20's and it was pointing straight up towards my belly button, so hard it felt like my skin was attached to a pulsing steel rod.

I can also move around and get to see a different angle at any moment. I can look at her face as she whimpers, I can look at her back and ass as her beautiful pussy slides up and down a cock. (I didn't get a good view the first time this happened so I'm looking forward to seeing that again). I am the director of my own interactive porn movie, is one way to look at it.

When there's another woman in the room, and when you're really focused on enjoying your wife's pleasure, another woman can be distracting. We haven't been in a full swap with a woman that I'm really attracted to. I want that. I want the intimacy of being able to focus on another woman and want HER in that moment...to hear her moans and feel her react to how a different cock feels sliding in and out of her to enjoy her enjoying me...but sometimes I just want to focus on my wife's pleasure.

Biases and assumptions:

It seems there's a double standard in how people think about MFM vs. FMF threesomes just in daily vanilla life. See a guy walking with two women, one on each arm? He's a stud. They're groping his chest/shoulders? He's a stud.

But when a girl is out in public with two guys it's taboo. See two guys touching a girl on the leg and suddenly it's creepy...you can almost hear the wah-wah pedal sound of wacka-wacka-70's-porno-music. There's also sometimes the assumption that the woman doesn't give consent, and the men just want to objectify her, or worse.

Maybe this has become better in recent years but I've been out enough to see people react with praise when they encounter two women with one man, but respond unkindly to two men with a woman.

Hopefully this changes.

A compliment to one, is a compliment to both

One thing I'm a little annoyed by, but only as a slight wish that more people would think about within the swinger community, is the idea that an awesome couple (like us) is the way they are and enjoys some crazy hot sex because both of them have helped each other get to this level of trust, intimacy, and eroticism. My wife has AS much to do with my experience in being a good lover as I do. We learned so much together over the years. She does give me credit for her "abilities" as well, but it would be nice if more people would realize:

A woman that plays in a way that you really like is probably used-to playing that way because of the years of work as a couple they've had together.

But then again, I've also heard from my wife in our totally open days that other men/women don't actively work to improve their sexual performance and enjoyment. 🤷‍♂️

That's all the thoughts I have for now. In-between bouts of extreme horniness I've tried to gather my thoughts and ideas. Tomorrow is the day. It's time to finish this and move on to thinking about how hot my wife will be, groaning with pleasure, on two cocks, one of them mine.

Edit: formatting