I've been active in the lifestyle for a few years now as a single male . Almost everyday I read posts from single men who think this lifestyle is unfair to them and that it's not right.

No one cares. Life is unfair big deal.

Not that it's exactly the same but if you don't do well with women in everyday normal life chances are your odds of meeting women in the swinger lifestyle will be less as well . There are always exceptions though.

First get the basics right -

- Get fit. Below 20 % body fat to be precise. Become active, be lean fit and have adequate cardiovascular capacity.

- Don't send dick pics until asked . You don't want to be in a situation where she replies with her husband's dick pic which is way bigger than yours lol.

- Rather send a few different types of pics like one where you're wearing a nice suit, one where you're wearing a normal casual tee, one maybe in a tight pair of boxer briefs where your boner is evident, one maybe a casual shirt with a glass of wine in your hand in a cozy background . Mix it up.

- Having a recent STD test always helps.

- Be genuinely confident about the fact that you'll be able to perform in front of another man. Most youngsters these days watch a ton of porn ,sometimes masturbating to it 3-4 times a day even when their dick isn't completely hard. Now i'm not against porn but if you're masturbating quickly you'll develop a death grip and won't be completely hard. Rather consume porn moderately , masturbate when you're extremely turned on , whenever you masturbate take some lube and try 'edging' for like 10 mins. Practice kegel exercises, even pilates and yoga help perform sexually .

- Don't try to upstage anyone . You're not better than her husband/bf , they are just inviting you to their sexual adventure.

- If you're just starting off , I wouldn't recommend clubs so fast rather online is a better idea. Be it swinger websites, other social media networks such as reddit or twitter. Eventually try swinger clubs if you're comfortable.

- Couples get a ton of dm's from single dudes. Even when they've mentioned 'No Single males' . Many are just fakes who are pic collectors. So expect them to be sounding a little apprehensive in the beginning .

- A Good Intro message should atleast include the following :

Your age , locality, a few pics like I've mentioned above, one pic which has your verification . Let it be known that you're open to verification. If they say no, just wish best of luck and move. Treat it like a dating situation and don't bother them again. Give out a good amount of info in the beginning so they don't think you're only looking to maybe sext and waste their time.

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I can write a book on this topic but I don't want to go on and on. If you need any other form of help or advice , feel free to dm me.