Might be more of a vent post, but this has been an issue for us lately. Meet a nice prospective couple on Reddit/3fun etc. , get to talking, and in short order some variation of "never had a BBC before" or "always been curious about BBC" comes up. What is there to be curious about in the color of skin?
Look, I get this is a huge fetish/fantasy especially in porn. Also understand some folks don't mean anything by it. However as a black male/Indian female couple it feels we have to filter out half the folks we talk to because they make us feel like a racial stereotype. Like, is this couple going to whip out a ruler to ensure I'm actually a "BBC"?.
Would love to hear how other POC folks deal with this. Cheers!
EDIT: Thanks for all the responses everyone, glad to see we aren't in the minority in this. We'll keep looking for a good fit that won't put us in this position.
😳 stuff like this is exactly what we're talking about!
You said exactly what I was thinking. It's getting exhausting.
This is the exact problem we're having.
Talking to a couple, really vibing. Then at the end of one conversation get a "BTW... how big are you"? I reluctantly answer (shouldn't have) and then immediately get a "she loves BBC's". Instant mood killer.
Yeah have seen that to common. Frankly, feels like there isn't much space for black men in the lifestyle that isn't in that sphere
That's fair if you clarify why you're asking, although being black whenever someone randomly ask how big I am we're immediately skeptical.
You're not wrong, there's a lot of folks who buy into the porn stereotype and use that to get laid.
I wouldn't go as far as the other poster. At the end of the day what happens between two adults in the confines of their relationship is up to them.
At the same time still have to do that self-reflection and ask, why is that kink hot, and what do I get out of it? In the past I found the QoS kink hot but couldn't reckon with the roots of where it comes from
The people who say they can't date an entire race because of "preference" are sus
I'd argue worse but maybe that's personal bias
I would just say something like "Hey btw in the past I've had a hard time handling men who are bigger than X"
I'm sorry but you can't whisk away 400 years of racial trauma behind "preference".
My suggestion if you're going to go after black men is to understand where they are coming from and not tell them how to feel.
Not trying to be a downer but anyone who comes to me and says they have a "preference" for black men, gonna ask why because there's a lot of racial history/trauma in that.
It's the same as a white guy who only chases Asian women.
Thanks! Love podcast so we will check it out
I think the first thing to consider is if you want to explore a partner of a different race that's great... but why do they have to be black? Why do they have to have a huge dick?
If you're specifically looking for a black guy with a huge dick, there's a lot of history that you have to reckon and come to terms with.
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We just read that as no black people and keep it moving lol