My girlfriend and I are very new to the lifestyle but we are very practical and like to optimize the experience as much as we can realistically control. I know you cannot manufacture chemistry/attraction but we both believe you can certainly work to provide the ideal conditions for chemistry to build (and also fuck up what could be q great connection with poor planning).

To that end, our biggest question is how to plan the ideal first meet with a couple where hooking up that night is on the table. We have only done one full swap and found that neither of us were 100% satisfied and felt that we didn't fully build up chemistry prior to swapping. We spent most of that night just chatting with drinks and food and eventually smoking weed with them in a park and then going back to our hotel room. The sex was definitely fun but it felt awkward at times because we didn't fully feel in tune with our respective partners.

What are people's suggestions for the types of venues to meet people we eventually want to fuck? Right now our thoughts are to aim for some time of cocktail bar where its quiet enough to engage in conversation easily and have a way for us to get close/cozy. Do experienced couples aim to find ways for everyone to sit closer together to allow easy physical contact between the opposite partners? Is that too aggressive/forward for a couple you just met? Is it ideal to plan some type of activity/game at like a pool hall / arcade / something similar? My partner likes that idea but I think it makes it harder to engage in extended conversation that way. Neither of us like dancing which would seem to be ideal for chemistry. Is it better to keep the initial meet light and nonsexual and wait until everyone agrees to advance the night before engaging in any heavy flirting/physical contact?

How long should we plan these nights? We like to get down to the main event by 10ish. Is there an ideal time frame by which to meet up ?

I'm sure the responses here heavily depends on the comfort level of each person so I'm just generally looking for what the general experienced couples see as the ideal.