My wife and I were having an amazing discussion the other day and we've been dancing around the subject for years but it finally came out in as many words that we both think we're bisexual. Until we're able to test this belief in practice we're going with 'bi-curious' and want to give it a shot.

She wants to really enjoy a woman and all that a woman is (specifically making out, playing with boobs, scissoring, humping, lots of oral, etc). Me I'm looking for someone that we can exchange oral and then I want someone to give me some proper pounding anally. We've been pegging me for longer than the term has existed so I'm 100% sure that's what I'm looking for. I also don't want to kiss or cuddle a man, and as tacky as it sounds I'm just more interested in the penis than who it's attached to. I'd be super open to a trans woman who still has a penis (I think I'd actually prefer it) but I know that the hormones sometimes make it difficult to get a solid erection.

Here is where we complicate things further. She has never been with anybody but me ever as I was her first (30 years ago) and it's been so long for me since I touched anybody else it might as well have not existed. For now we're trying to figure out how each of us can have a same-sex encounter and be able to watch the other get pleasure without the opposite sex partner engaging for now. We might work up to that but off the bat that is not the goal and we're not ready to negotiate how that looks.

So here is the question. Where do we find these people? I've seen SDC and SLS mentioned but I also have heard that finding men in those communities who are truly bi and not just 'whatever it takes to get sucked off' is difficult at best. Finding bi women seems to be pretty easy on places like adultfriendfinder and SLS so I'm not as worried about that. Ideally if we could find a couple that is truly bi that we could just each play with but I'm not getting my hopes up. I wonder if I should just hit up something like Gruff and find a bi-guy who leans a bit more homo but doesn't mind my wife watching or playing with me while I play with him?