I run Young Couples Party, a swinger club in the Chicagoland area.

We have 50 live events per year, including hotel takeovers, swinger club events, summer daytime clothing-optional parties. There are also over 200 virtual events per year, including twerk classes, lap dance classes, weekly trivia, exercise classes (HIIT and Yoga), and several other things.

We've been hosting events for six years and have learned a lot over the years.

I'm convinced that all swinging lifestyle event hosts care deeply about consent, but more could be done to improve safety.

With that in mind, I'm throwing this video script out into the universe. Every party attendee watches the video on their first visit. Nothing has improved consent issues more.

Feel free to use the script to create your video. While some of it is specific to our building, I hope you consider the main parts, each written based upon years of experience. For example, the line "and for both men and women," is a result of many women over the years being shocked that they are being called out for touching another woman without consent. Some women hear consent talks and assume they are immune.

If you're an event host, and want some storyboard ideas, feel free to send me a message. Some of this is lost without the visual representation. For example, there is a scene in a playroom where two couples are having sex just one foot apart. One woman (couple a) is making very seductive eyes at a man (couple b.) She's definitely giving him the "fuck me" look. He asks if he can touch, and she politely replies, "no thank you."

That comes from several people over the years telling me that "they consented with their eyes."

I'd share the video directly, but our members volunteered as actors and actresses. They are nude and simulating sex in the video. They did so with the understanding that it would never be online.

P.S. For you event hosts who feel that your attendees may be irritated about being forced to spend seven minutes watching a consent video on their tour, you're mistaken. Hundreds of couples watched this video, and everyone was thrilled to do so and felt safer knowing this was a process.

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YCP parties are very safe. We each have a responsibility to keep them safe. Your responsibility as a participant is as high as mine as a host. Let me explain why and how…

Everyone at YCP must use explicit consent. Explicit is defined as "stated clearly, leaving no room for confusion or doubt." This means that you ask direct questions and do not proceed unless you have a direct response. Someone cannot consent with their eyes or body language, no matter how flirty you may interpret it. Only a Yes is a Yes

For example, when dancing, ask before touching. Then continue to ask before escalating to more sexual touching, kissing, or sexual activity.

These same rules apply everywhere on the property, like the hot tub, and for both men and women.

There are several playrooms and 16 beds in all. They all have the same rules.

One of these rooms is the "orgy room." It's large enough to host an orgy. However, the same rules apply in the orgy room as in any other room. A couple can have sex right beside you, and they may even be looking at you. You may even think they are flirting with you. Do not touch them without asking and receiving an explicit response.

While we're on the subject, you can walk around the play areas and ask to join people, but we recommend against it. By asking, you've interrupted people's sex play and they are unlikely to hear you properly.

Some additional playroom rules.

If a playroom door is shut, leave it shut. That means people want privacy. Do not open a closed playroom door.

Men are not allowed unaccompanied in the playroom areas, not even to use a restroom.

If you're in the playroom areas, try not to speak. If you must talk, do so quietly and discuss something sexual. Don't yell about how the Cubs will do this year, for example. (say that last line with some humor)

A host will clear out all of the playrooms at 1:45 am. Leave them immediately. You can finish your sex acts in the orgy room and see yourself out when done.

Finally: If you see someone violate any of the things discussed in this video. You must tell a host. Even if the violation didn't happen to you, say to a host what you saw, and do it right then.

Here are people you can go to:

[redacted]. They own YCP.

If you cannot find [redacted], you can tell [redacted]. She owns the building and is at every event.

Or [redacted]. He's the DJ and property manager.

Please do not let this video make you think that there are consent issues at YCP. Quite the opposite!! This video is proof of how seriously everyone at YCP takes consent and that’s precisely what makes the event safe.

Thank you for being a part of YCP. We hope you have the time of your life.