So I’m sure most have heard the analogy of one partner being the gas and one being the brake. Thus far in 2 years of talking and a handful of soft swap play dates, I’ve been the gas and my wife the brake. My wife seems to have flipped the roles in just one statement last night. We are looking at exploring separate/solo dates with each half of a couple we like that we soft swapped with previously. We’ve also been discussing the possibility of going from soft to full swap.
So we have the first date between my wife and the other husband planned soon. My wife and I decided to talk rules/boundaries last night. Since she’s the brake I asked “what would you be uncomfortable with if this first date was me and the other wife?” My wife responds with “Really nothing. If you fucked her I’d be cool with that. I’m probably down to fuck him as well.” So with that we decided that on her date next week she’s free to do whatever she’s comfortable with as long as she checks in with me via text every 1-2 hours with an update on how things are going and what they are doing plus pics/videos if things progress to a hotel room (which they may or may not since they are going to a swinger friendly dive bar where making out and oral in dark corners aren’t out of the question but full on sex is uncommon).
I’m mostly excited but maybe a tiny little bit anxious at the same time. It’s all good but that feeling when you finally decide that “we are doing this” and it’s her that proactively decides it is surreal.
And now she’s the gas. Has anyone else experienced this where one spouse starts out as the driver and then the more reluctant spouse finally just decides to jump in head first? How did it go and how did you feel?