Our rules are same room with opposite sex, and I can meet men solo.

When talking to couples to set things up I've noticed it is very female-centric. This has been reflected by comments on this sub, as well as a comment from a friend of mine: If the girls are happy then it'll go ahead. Group chats between the two couples usually involves intense questioning about what my wife wants with no regard for me. I'll ask a question (logistical, preferences, etc) and get a vague answer, but when my wife asks it the info flows. Forget about me being asked what I am looking for too. I feel like a redundant part of the proceedings.

Contrast this to my experiences with gay and bi men. I'm good looking enough to have guys swooning and take my pick. All of sudden people can hold a conversation, express what they like, and actually ASK ME what I am looking for. I get a huge amount of compliments about my body, my face if I show it, and my conversation skills. I share all my conversations with my wife, and she confirmed I'm messaging both sexes using similar language and intent, and modifying it to suit a "gentler" tone for the women. When talking to guys I feel valued, wanted, and desired (before anyone jumps to conclusions, it isn't always crude and direct as you'd imagine it be between two horny guys).

I understand that women control the economy of sex and swinging and the reasons why. I guess what I'm saying though is I'm not going to meet anyone who isn't interested in me and try to talk to me, instead of just assuming I'll stick it in anything that's warm. You're going to have to do better than that if you want what I'm offering.

Also, just thought, the double standard around ff vs mm play. My wife is vaguely bi curious. More like just being comfortable being with a naked woman, maybe some kissing and touching. It seems like it is almost the expectation she is going to go deep muff diving (and the pressure to indulge the other woman, or possibly her horny guy), while if I want to blow a guy the sky is going to fall.