We're a couple (35/45) that has been together for 10 years and swinging since the beginning of this year. So far we've been to the same club twice (with a soft swap) and had a few soft swap private dates with two other couples. Since we started swinging, my wife got to know about her bi-curious side and explored a bit on our dates. We talked about it and agreed she could try some FF play.

A few weeks ago, I saw a profile from a woman, looking to explore her bisexual side as well. I (M) made contact, but she was already chatting with another woman and didn't want to chat with several woman at the same time. So I wished her good luck and we didn't chat any further... until yesterday when I sent her an invite for a fetish party we will be going to later this month. She promptly replied and started a conversation. Apparently the woman she was chatting with, didn't want to engage into anything and stopped the chatting. She said she was open for communication with my wife, so I asked her to start a conversation on Whatsapp. Around 9PM she started chatting with my wife, to get to know eachother a little better. Afterwards, my wife showed me the 1,5 hour conversation. At first it was all general talk until they started about the subject. When the other woman asked her if she'ld rather have a threesome or just the two of them, my wife replied she just wanted to exclude me from their bisexual experiment. When I asked her about it, she said it would feel strange to explore with me being present. Since we have a "same room" rule, I don't like the idea of them doing this without me. This discussion ended in a fight and we went to sleep...

Part of me understands that she wants to explore without someone else being present, but I know I would feel terrible about it. We always said the lifestyle would be something we'ld only do together. She says it's different when it's with a woman, but I don't see it that way. This is going from a fantasy to a negative issue between us... How would you deal with it? How can I make it clear that this would hurt my feelings too much? Women who want to share their experiences and point of view, can share it too!

Thanks in advance!

Edit: Great to see all the great advice I got from all of you. I can already set you at ease about the fight: we had some great sex today, so I guess we're back on the same page :-D We agreed she'll first go on a vanilla date with the other woman and after that we'll further discuss our comfort level... I see a lot of you don't understand why I react the way I do, but it's not a choice to be the way I am. What is most important is that our relation stays on solid ground and we respect eachothers feelings.

Edit 2: The other woman has invited my wife on a date tonight. So (only) both of them will have a few drinks in a city inbetween us. Will do another edit or a new post afterwards!