First a little background: we're a 45M/35F couple who are a few months in the LS. So far we've been two times to the same club, having a soft swap the second time. After that we had a private date with a couple (we know from SDC) at their place and had a soft swap. It was the guy from the other couple who took all the initiative to get things started with my wife.

Two days ago we had the second date with the same couple. They spend quite some effort in taking care of us. They had a bbq at their poolhouse and the glasses were filled regularly. Me and my wife are both a bit waiting-and-see attitude and when we were having dinner, my wife started complaining about not feeling well and having some stomac issues. This resulted in an abrupt finish of the evening and we drove home. When we discussed it the day afterwards, my wife said it had something to do with stress. She didn't know how to start interacting (neither did I) and she basically felt like sitting duck until the guy would start making his move. This couple is very hard to read and we don't feel they're into it, until the "action" starts. When we left and were at our car, I kissed the wife from the other couple very intimately. So we know the attraction from both is there.

So our question is: should we discuss the stress we feel in the beginning with the other couple? What are good ways to get into the action? Is there some kind of etiquette thing going on? First time we went in their sauna and the guy suddenly started feeling up my wife during the massage afterwards. Although we knew it would lead to that, it still took her by surprise and led to the stress last time. We would love to see them again, but without the stress and enjoy the date from start to finish. Any tips are very welcome.

Edit1: we're trying to fix a new date very soon on whatsapp.

Edit2: The other couple has the same experience level