Last weekend we are at a house party, and in a dark room is my wife with a whole pile of naked people. She starts to play with a few people, and ends up in a full swap with a guy. All good. Some time later in the midst of the giant flesh pile, she quickly realizes that she is in a second full swap with another man. She never spoke to this man. She didn't explain the situation until we were long gone from the party. At the time, we were playing in different rooms.

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She shut it down without further incident. It does make me thing that the oft repeated "no means no" is completely inadequate. Saying "no" is a very different thing than giving consent. Most of the people I know in the LS wouldn't dream of touching someone without permission. This is our first encounter with a creepy douchebag, and assholes such as these have no place in the LS community.

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"No means no" is not a standard at all.

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Thanks, I feel better.