We haven't been in the lifestyle for a long time but in our time we have been in, there's been a dynamic within couples that I've seen that feels pretty common. There always seem to be one person in the relationship that handles all of the logistics, communications, etc. between couples and events and the other member does nothing or close to nothing.

As a person that handles most of everything in our relationship lifestyle-wise, it's never been an issue with me. The funny thing to me is it's kinda the reverse in our vanilla lives. She usually does all of the legwork and all I ask is to tell me where to be and what do I have to pick up.

Have you noticed the same thing and if so, why do you think the "workload" so to speak isn't more shared? For us, I just know my lady doesn't have any interest in looking for and coordinating with dates and events and I do have an interest in it.