Though we [46F, 48M] live in Long Beach, we both work and are planning to move to LA in a couple months. We are on all the major sites/comms platforms as LibidinousLB (Kik, Kasidie, SDC, SLS, etc. ). Do you think the opening paragraph to our profile will help or hurt our chances of connecting ?

A dour, boring, ugly couple who hate having "fun." We have been together two weeks and can barely stand being in the same room with each other. We're high-strung, judgmental drama magnets, neither work nor play particularly hard, and are, in fact, Barbie and Ken. Any contact is interpreted as a binding contract for sex but we insist that you have supermodel bodies to even return your email. We don't need pictures of your male half as long as your Mrs has >20 pics with extreme sexual close-ups. If you do have any pictures of the male, we prefer that they are nothing but dick pics (which, like the woman's, should be hirsute and at least a decade out of date). We always put out on the first date

Wot?