My wife and I have been together for 10 years. We started exploring more sexually after about the second year, found out that we both enjoyed mfm threesomes. We stopped for a while after our last kiddo was born but then picked up again last year. We have always had some verbal boundaries like “we only fuck together.” We decided this past week that it may be a good idea to make some actual written agreements/rules. A lot of the stuff is pretty normal, “we only have sex as a group or at the club, no exes,” and so on. Nothing outside the box really. She has just recently told me that she now feels okay with me finding a female (at the club we go to) and either having sex there or in a threesome setting as well. So we laid it out, we have it typed up and it’s all good. My question more is about the emotional connection and if this is okay? I feel it is, we are openly okay with each of us having an emotional connection with a person and texting alone or talking on the phone alone with them. I know swingers tend to shy away from this so I’m asking what your experience is with it? We feel it would work for us because we have a very honesty based relationship ship. I’m asking more so because I just read a book “more than two.” This book is based on poly life and we don’t wish to have that but the book clearly slams rules, and points you toward if you want that emotional connection, you have to open the marriage up. That’s now what we want, we both enjoy doing this together and growing together but we do also enjoy the emotional connection with someone too, we have found it makes the sex a bit more relaxed.