M25 here, and I’m new to this whole thing. Not even sure why my wife (25F) and I started exploring the lifestyle. It all began during a vacation in Barcelona. After a few drinks, we ended up at a club, and now, back in our hometown, we’ve started checking out a few places and joined some communities.

So far, we’ve only done some light stuff with another guy (hands only), and most of what we do is still just between the two of us. We’re taking it slow. But even though I find the whole idea sexy at home and get turned on by the thought of wife-sharing or another guy helping satisfy her, I don’t feel like I’m into the whole cuckold dynamic. I don’t have a desire to be humiliated or to feel like my wife is being “taken” by someone else. I actually feel pretty secure in myself and in our relationship. It’s more like, if something satisfies my wife, why not? Is that a thing? Does anyone else feel this way?

That said, when it actually happens, I get nervous and can’t perform. Is this normal? Do you guys have any tips? Sometimes I even wonder, "Do other guys take something to help them out?"

Another thing: I find it super uncomfortable when I’m with my wife and a guy is masturbating really close to us. I get this constant fear that he might finish on me or something. Is it okay to ask someone to step back a bit? I understand that being watched is part of the deal, but there’s a difference between being observed and literally feeling someone’s breath on me while they are masturbating. Thoughts?