I see a lot of posts asking how to bring up open relationships or “convince” their partner to swing.

I brought it up to my partner when we were still early in our relationship. I knew of a club in our area and asked if he would ever be interested in going. He did not react well. “You want to sleep with other people?!” I explained my interest in exploring because I had previously been in very unfulfilling sexual relationships and I felt like after getting out of my prior marriage that I had a lot I wanted to try/experience… but his reaction was clear he was threatened and scared and not interested so I dropped it. My relationship with him was my priority. No I did not constantly nudge him over and over! Never brought it up again.

Five years later quite unexpectedly he starts talking about being open to threesomes… once that dialog was open we were able to discuss fantasies and other scenarios and realized swinging with couples would be a more equitable arrangement for us.

I guess I just wanted to briefly tell my story as hope for others that sometimes a partner does change their mind! But they have to come to this decision on their own, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink! Unless they themselves finally decide to. I think for me, I didn’t previously feel like nonmonogamy was a NEED so I was ok with monogamy for him, but now neither of us could imagine going back to just monogamy at this point.