I’m trying to figure out my feelings…Previous to our relationship, my partner had a lot of experience in this LS. He was a “bull” for many other couples (respectful, careful of boundaries, etc.) He is only my second sexual partner. We’ve now been exploring this LS and have visited clubs and done same room, all of which I’ve enjoyed.

My partner voices what turns him on is seeing others desire me / pleasure me. He hasn’t voiced wanting to pleasure other females.

But for some reason I’m feeling insecure…as we’ve been talking with couples and I guess I expect at some point someone may want him to pleasure another female or a female to pleasure him.

And I don’t know why the thought of him pleasuring another female makes me …sad? It’s like a pit in my stomach.

At the same time I feel selfish as his desires are for me to experience pleasure and shouldn’t I want the same even if it’s not me but another female? I feel ashamed for struggling with these feelings of insecurity, maybe jealousy?

I think a part of me wonders if I’m not enough because he once was a bull and was with so many other couples. Thoughts like “that must have been such a free and exciting time in his life, how can he not miss it” and “he once pleasured all these wives/females so his fantasy can’t just be me being pleasured”

Has anyone else dealt with weird feelings because their partner had way more experience than them? I want to work through these feelings, change my perspective, so I can be a better partner and ensure I’m just as focused on his pleasure as he is on mine.