We went to one of our best friend’s birthday party last night (let’s call him Jeremy), with our best friends Andy and Anna who stayed with us the whole weekend. What’s great about it is you have already had so much sex with your best friends on Friday night and Saturday morning and afternoon, that if nothing happens at the party, it is completely fine. Jon was like: if I don’t get laid at the party, I will spend the entire one hour drive back home in the back with Anna riding my dick, so I have zero pressure to do anything.

Jon had his sights set on a single girl we had met 3-4 years ago and as soon as he saw her, they started talking. Usually, if a conversation lasts more than 15 minutes, I know they are going to end up playing. 30 minutes later, they are still talking. Jon is usually not very patient, but the woman was gorgeous, so he tried his best. Then 45 minutes later, she drops the R bomb on him: “I am really concentrating on my faith right now, religion is my priority, and my new boyfriend is very religious too, and I know he would not want me to play with you. I was in the lifestyle for 10 years, but I completely got out 3 months ago”. Jon took it like a dagger in the heart, was totally furious, but didn’t show it at all, complimented her on her choices… but could not get out of that conversation fast enough “I gotta run to the bathroom, ttyl”. Patience was not rewarded.

I was happy as a lark on the patio, drinking, vaping, talking to my friends. A very good looking guy was there with his wife, and he was explaining their poly situation. I am always very interested to hear how people make poly work because I know it would not work for us, and I always read about drama on the poly subreddits. We talked and talked for hours. At the end, he said “can I put my hand on your leg?”. Yes you can. “Can I kiss you?”. Yes you can. “Do you want to go snuggle inside?”. Sure. We go back. The guy gets undressed and he had one of the biggest dicks I had ever seen. It barely fit in my mouth. He put a condom on and put it in slowly and carefully. It felt great. I said: “Thanks for being patient with me outside, you will be rewarded”… and boom! He came. 30 seconds max.

I guess not everyone can be rewarded for their patience!

How long are you prepared to talk to someone at a house party if you think it can go somewhere? 10 minutes? 30 minutes. An hour? Several hours?

Side note: after all that wasted time, Jon had a great time with other lovely ladies, and won our body count contest for the weekend. Just in case you felt sorry for him.