I think we are unique in how we do this, but maybe im wrong...
When we are playing, and one of us gets triggered, annoyed, jealous, upset about something our partner does, we don't stop playing to discuss. We talk it about if after, when everyone's gone.
This came about because the wife in the first 3 couples we were with got angry less than 5 minutes into the sex and left the room either crying or cussing, and it made for a very unpleasant experience and memory. And we weren't doing anything crazy. We were not breaking any boundaries or anything, just normal sensual play stuff. And all of these couples had been in the LS for several years.
I understand no one should have to be traumatized by anything happening in the bedroom, but i don't really see calling a full stop if it's something thats happening to your partner that you are just feeling jealous or annoyed about. There are 4 people playing, and it ruins it for everyone. The moment might be ruined for the triggered person, but i don't know why they have to ruin it for everyone.
So what we do, is just take note we didnt like something, and discuss it later. Its way less embarrassing than making a scene and ruining the moment for everyone. And so far, when we are in the after moment, we have just gotten over it and decided it wasn't a big deal.
This obviously wouldnt apply to boundaries that have been discussed that are being broken, or if you think that your partner is uncomfortable, but i wish more couples would just debrief afterwards. It's really disconcerting to be hooking up, and have someone storm out of the room.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 1 week ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/Swingers/co...