Ive noticed several posts mentioning getting ghosted, and OP is usually a bit confused as to why, which made me think of encounters that we didn't go back for repeats on.
We always start off letting people know we are looking for ongoing situations, the goal is never a one night stand. But if we (well more specifically me, i don't think my hubby has ever straight up refused an encore) didn't have fun, i don't plan on going back again. But I never tell people that. It seems kinda mean to say "nope, that was no fun, I'd rather never see you again."
We really dont have space for platonic friends in the lifestyle, so we usually just fade away with no feedback given. I dont think i would normally have much to say though, on my end it just seems like the chemistry is right or wrong, and if it wasnt great, I dont even know where to start for explaining why it was off.
When things are good, I'm going to rave about everything i liked, and probably a lot. I probably go overboard on the praise thing, but I have a rough time finding hookups I like, so i really want to let them know what they did right for me.
Have you ever given feedback on what was wrong before? Has anyone ever been too excited about your hookup after, or do you like getting accolades?
You can give to to them if they ask. But nothing wrong w saying it’s not a match and going no farther. My wife is similar to you. She won’t take anything and conversation and personality gets her going. That’s gets you in the door. Still have to have skill. She hasn’t found both. One w decent skill but personality of a potato chip. What do during refractory if you can’t shoot the shit, joke and flirt?
(Joint acct M here) a difficult thing.
For example - we recently met a couple we had been chatting with for weeks and were excited to meet. When we got together in person we were into her - but as is often the case he was clearly older, fatter and less… squared away than we were led to believe. We should have walked away in retrospect.. but it had been awhile and we wanted to play.
Then we all get naked - guy is small AND cant get it up. I feel bad because Amy basically ended up taking one for the team - and we just dont do that. I remember having fun with the other wife and seeing a bored and basically disgusted look on Amys face.
Now the other couple has messaged and clearly would be up for playjng again - but theres no way its gonna happen. We’ll say something - but its not gonna be our real feelings
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