Has anyone else noticed that their partner will sometimes do things with a third that they don’t do with you? For example, my wife can’t stand me kissing her neck—it just tickles too much, no matter how passionate we are. But recently, during a session with our third, he went for her neck, and not only did she let him, but later she even pulled him closer by the hair to keep going. When I asked her about it, she just said it happened in the moment.
I’m not looking for advice on how to deal with this, since it doesn’t bother me now that I understand it was likely a relaxed, in-the-moment thing. Just curious—have others experienced something similar? Does it affect you, or do you just roll with it?
Comparing not only is unfair but also inhibits play and fun for everyone. If there are insecurities then address the root cause rather than the symptom or the reaction. I react by talking about why it might have evoked a question or a comparison (in this case) than anything else.
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