It’s easy to say she should have shut things down right away, but in the moment, confronting friends isn’t always straightforward. Calling them out could make things super awkward, and she even mentioned in her post that if she does bring it up, they might just deny it, claiming they were being 'friendly.' If they do that, she risks looking like the bad guy or being seen as overreacting by others in the friend group. It’s disappointing that sharing something personal with friends could be taken as an invitation, rather than just accepted with respect for her boundaries. This isn’t just about her handling it 'better'; it’s also about her friends respecting the friendship and not putting her in this position to begin with

This isn’t as simple as just 'shutting it down.'' For women, it’s often ingrained not to rock the boat, and we’re conditioned to question ourselves in situations like this. She was likely second-guessing whether she was overreacting or if she was even interpreting things correctly. It’s frustrating that she was put in a position where she had to juggle managing her friends’ behaviour with her own discomfort, rather than her friends respecting her boundaries from the beginning. The fact that she’s even questioning herself afterward shows how much pressure women face to downplay their own experiences to keep the peace

blaming her for the behaviour of her male friends invalidates the real experiences many women face. Dismissing it as her fault overlooks the fact that women frequently encounter unwanted advances, even from close friends, which can feel like a betrayal of trust. Instead of recognising her valid frustration, these comments place responsibility on her to somehow ‘avoid’ these situations when it’s really about respect. Shifting the blame onto women, it reinforces the idea that they should just ‘manage’ male behaviour rather than expecting men to uphold boundaries and treat friendships respectfully

I started at 21 in as real estate agent. Was continually creeped on by other agents, brokers, clients, etc. I then started working for the court one i married my husband because he is a contractor for LE departments. I get creeper on by other LEO'S, baliff's JUDGES, etc.

So yeah, it MUST be something I'M doing.

It couldn't be the men's fault.

This comment really hits on a deeper issue. When a guy friend crosses that line, it’s not just about the advance—it forces her to question how he’s viewed the friendship all along. For her, it’s about trust and respect, and when that line is crossed, it can feel like everything she valued about the friendship was different for him. It’s not just that women think differently than men; it’s that women are often expected to balance friendliness with defending boundaries, even with friends. When a friend chooses to risk that boundary, it’s understandable that she’d question the whole relationship

I get the comparison, but I think there's a key difference here. Unlike dealing with friends who steal, navigating unwanted advances from men—especially close friends—isn't always as clear-cut. Women are often socialised to give people the benefit of the doubt and question if we’re overreacting, making it challenging to spot and address these behaviours right away.

The issue isn’t that she's ‘collecting’ bad friends; it's that she's trusted people who, at some point, chose to cross boundaries. It’s unfair to suggest that she somehow attracts or deserves this just because her friends happened to act inappropriately. Just like it’s on people not to steal, it’s on her friends not to misinterpret her openness as an invitation.

Blaming her for 'allowing' this situation puts the responsibility in the wrong place. She shared something personal, expecting friends to respect her boundaries, not take it as a green light. It’s not her fault they chose to ignore her comfort level or test those boundaries. Confronting friends isn’t always easy in the moment—especially when the risk is being dismissed or made to feel awkward for reading into their behaviour. Her silence wasn’t an invitation; it was likely her processing a complex, uncomfortable situation with people she trusted. Instead of blaming her, let’s focus on why her friends felt entitled to disregard her boundaries in the first place

Thank you.

Oh. So it's a woman's fault men are creeps. I can not help that I'm slender, long hair, and dress in what I feel comfortable in. If men can not control themselves by my appearance, that is THEIR problem, NOT mine.

We're scared of being murdered or physically attacked for saying no. Or gaslit into believing We're the problem. We're not scared of being ghosted. That's actually the best case scenario