Yeah, this is definitely a problem in the lifestyle, and it’s not just unique to this scene… it’s like a play straight out of the cheats handbook. A lot of these couples use the guise of being a couple to open up a conversation with another couple, but their real aim is to focus on only one partner, leaving the other out. It’s like they’re too impatient to find an actual unicorn or a hotwife who’s happy to play solo, so they go for the sneaky approach instead.

It’s disrespectful, and it misses the whole point of the lifestyle, which should be built on mutual respect, transparency, and open communication. If someone wants to explore a threesome, the least they can do is have the decency to include everyone in the discussion. Trying to isolate a partner just for the thrill of it? That’s not what the lifestyle is about. It’s shady, and honestly, it undermines the community’s spirit.

You’ve got every right to be turned off by it, and you’re absolutely right to expect respect. Stick to your boundaries and don’t let these vibes mess with your confidence. There’s no place for that kind of underhanded behavior.

It’s definitely a shot to the ego when you know they don’t want you. It’s also a boundary for us. We don’t play separately and we don’t seek out just one partner of a couple.

We have a similar dilemma with a couple where the wife really wants to play but the husband’s not interested. She has reached out to set something up but we know the husband doesn’t allow separate play. We declined because that’s just a lot of drama and trouble.

If there has to be secrets from the partner we view that as cheating. You can tell us your marriage is wide open but if your partner is not okay with it, how is it not cheating?

Sorry that people are like that.

Yes, it’s very annoying that couples and singles aren’t honest about what they want. It’s just how some humans are and they likely won’t stop if they’re doing it already. That said, there are still great couples and singles out there and I’d recommend spending your valuable time and mental energy on them instead of the sneaky ones :).