My partner and I are very new to the lifestyle… if we can even say that. We’re so new that we haven’t truly interacted with others and have only watched or been watched. We like going to lifestyle clubs and enjoy exhibitionism and voyeurism, but we’re wanting more.

Our hesitation to taking the next steps largely stems from research and reading in groups such as this, and the often confusing or conflicting opinions/views. Not fully embracing the lifestyle is due to the way we want to interact and how it could be viewed within the community.

Some simple background:

The female in the couple is bi and has been with women before. The male in our couple is straight and has no interest in men. We’re both 41 and have an exceptionally solid relationship. We both love sex, flirting, having fun and are very adventurous.

This potential issue:

The female in our group does not want to sleep with other men. She is only interested in women and with the male in our group joining in.

The male in our group is happy with for our female to have solo play, group play with women, but equally happy with FFM scenarios where we can both enjoy the same female(s).

While the male is happy to interact with the other female that potentially join us, a soft interaction is preferred over penetrative sex.

We both understand that this unicorn type arrangement will limit the interactions we’ll have, we are also conscious of the perception it may impose on others given the views we have read.

We are acutely aware of the One Penis Policy and this is often viewed as male insecurity or jealousy, and may be considered a red flag. But in our scenario it is imposed by the female.

The One Vagina Policy (if there's such a thing?) is imposed by the male, though is potentially fluid, and may change based on the scenario or vibe.

We also don't want to have the perception that we're trying to rope someone’s female. Our intent is to be upfront on how we want to interact and that we don't want another male, though the male in our group may have limited or specific, or no interaction too.

Our questions are:

Is this acceptable and, if you feel it is not, why not?

How do perceive this arrangement; how do you think others will perceive it?

Though we're aware that we limit our options, is there a place for it within the lifestyle, will women (potentially from a couple) even be interested?

What would you suggest when communicating this with a potential playmate?

Do you have a similar agreement and have you ever experienced it; how does/did it work out?

It seems that often for what can be such an accepting and liberal group of people within the lifestyle, there also seems to be a great deal of politics, personal disapproval and pseudo judgments. We’re not here to rock the boat, but explore more and have fun within our agreed boundaries.

Thank you for taking the time to read our novel and providing any responses if you did!