Looking for some advice

Me (M40) and my wife (F39) started dipping out toes into the world of swinging, around five months ago, it was something we were both interested in exploring.  I should point out that my wife always took the lead with this as in maintaining the profile, arranging socials and chatting with potential partners etc. 

At the beginning I was using the website too but we were having disagreements over things like, “liking” photos of people she wouldn’t be interested in or answering messages in a way that she wouldn’t.  Eventually I stopped logging in to the account as it just wasn’t any fun for me.

We were active on a swinger’s site and members of a social group on Telegram, my wife loves this side of it chatting with other swingers and she has made good friends on there, these groups are not for me.  Part of the reason is that I have very low confidence and anxiety so these kinds of situations can be a trigger for me.

There was a social event coming up so I asked my wife if she would like to go (solo, she knows I hate this particular social), she declined saying that she suspects that I have lost interest in the scene, we haven’t been doing anything for a while due to illness.  Honestly, I haven’t really thought about loosing interest, but it made me think. I told her I need to have a think about it.  I explained my reasons, I want her to continue (if she wants) but I am not sure if I want to be involved.  I feel like I have little to offer, and that is ok, I’m nothing special.  I don’t want to subject myself to something that will no doubt leave me feeling sad and inadequate.  I fully agree with the lifestyle but I just think mentally its not something I can do

We have only had one meet as a couple (not good) and she has had a solo meet with a couple (she found it amazing)

She is giving me the cold shoulder now, she says nothing is wrong but I can tell there is.  I love this woman with everything I’ve got and it kills me to make her sad but I have to be honest, right?

What can I do? I feel like in the future I could be more open to trying again but I don’t know it just might not be a fit for me..