Chances are, as with MOST women in the lifestyle, your wife is bi .
It is so rare to see or meet a straight-only female in the LS, that I am always surprised. If she is not accepting of even your bi-lite/curiosity, or you're terrified to tell her; she isn't being totally honest about swinging to expand each other's shared communication, love, and sexual exploration.
Women (and men) who prejudge, or unilaterally shut down communication in this area are a real hypocritical problem. And they have some serious self reflection to do. This coming from a guy who hasn't, yet?, directly played with another guy.
But, I am curious and accepting of play, "given the right situation(TM)". Would I ever want to be fully alone, 1-on-1 with another man? Nope, not for me.
I didn't criticize my wife when she admitted she wanted to do "gay stuff", while swinging with another couple. (Bluntness to make a point.) It didn't shatter my hetero-feminine view of her. I embraced her share and vulnerability. Two women doing things together doesn't do anything for me, AT ALL. When I used to watch porn, the lesbian scenes are boring, to tears. But watching and knowing that my wife is having a great and unique experience which I can't possibly provide her myself, with another woman DOES greatly turn me on. I also love giving her pointers on pleasuring a woman, and the pitfalls.
Situational reversal is the easiest thought exercise. And an honest loving start to any conversation.
What do YOU think about your man, or yourself, or the other husband; in this bi-something framing? I'll take all comments. Anything from: "Me/my husband, eww never". To: "This is our normal play, and here's why it's so f***ing hot..."
Great post! This is interesting and I havenāt seen much about it. Itās also a topic near and dear to me.
My husband and I have been in the LS for a little over a year. He knew Iād had girl-on-girl experiences and I played with a woman during our first trip to a swingers club together. He loves anything that turns me on so he was supportive (although he did tell me that he doesnāt get much from watching it. He changed his mind after seeing me play.)
Anyway, Iām embarrassed to say that I was opposed to male-on-male action. Iād only ever been with men who vocalized how gross it was and that influenced me. I even told my hubby early on that āI know itās unfair but lesbian play is hot and gay play is just gay.ā š¤¦š¼āāļø I now cringe remembering that I said this to him.
Well, he is brave and didnāt let me scare him off. And we also communicate A LOT. So when there was some incidental contact, I asked him how he felt about it. He didnāt mind it and I thought it was HOT.
He, like you, has zero interest in dating a guy, playing without me, or even kissing one. He just likes what feels good and is hot in the moment. He has enjoyed giving and receiving BJs and weāve gotten to do DVP a few times which is now my favorite thing. Instead of being grossed out by rubbing together, he enjoys the sensation. Basically weāve done MMF-lite with no male penetration. Iāve gotten to give a double BJ, which was also awesome! We want to try anal for him but the stars havenāt aligned yet. We donāt want someone willing to do it as a trade for fucking me. Itās ridiculous how many times weāve run into that. It isnāt hot if they arenāt enthusiastic.
Honestly this has been such an amazing experience for us. At 40-years-old, Iāve changed my views on sexuality. The only complaint I have is that, even in the sexually open environment of swinging, this is still frowned upon. Weāve had men react badly to us saying we wanted to try these things even when we go to a club on āPride Night.ā But hopefully thatās changing because of open conversations like this.
I thought maybe Iād see a dick and feel some bi stuff for it, but seeing that first dick in real life I knew right then, I was straight as an arrow. I am not down with bi stuff, I like group sex, I like my wife getting fucked, but what I like most is putting on a show and fucking the other wife, for her husband and my wife to enjoyā¦ Iām not a bad person because I am not bi, this post is sort of weird and maybe Iām missing the point, but you do you and donāt expect that I should take one for the team because you feel like swinging is bi by natureā¦
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Well-said! This is the male in our shared bi-couple account. I absolutely hate the āIāll let you suck my dickā or āIām OK with itā responses. Iām evidently pretty damn good at itāIāve made knees buckle in less than a minute and havenāt yet put one in my mouth I couldnāt make disappearāand no oneās doing me a favor by accommodating. They either want it or they donāt. Itās not a toll they pay on their way inside my wife.
We donāt specifically target bi men. If theyāre into it, great. If not, thatās OK, too, and she might still play with them as long as theyāre honest and respectful.
Having me, a bi male, in the couple seems to be our biggest obstacle at times. Weāve encountered several men whose interest evaporated as soon as we told them Iām bi, and Iāve even run across some women in recent years who wonāt consider doing anything sexual with a bi male.