I always respect people's boundaries, but I find a lot of them to be a huge turn off. When we started in the lifestyle, I looked at boundaries as a kind of roadmap for what we would be able to do with the couple, but at this point I am more looking at them as exclusionary criteria.

No kissing or cuddling are my pet peeves. You are really going to tell me that it's not too imitate to stick your dick down my throat, but your tongue is too personal? Or that you can fuck me for an hour, but spending 10 minutes after cuddling and petting me is too romantic? If you think you need to save these activities for your partner, as far as I am concerned, you can save your dick for them as well.

There was a post yesterday that cracked me up about a couple being dumped for not being hardcore enough. I was thinking we would have definitely been dropped as well!

Now we have the boundary discussion early into chatting with a couple and it gives me a good idea on if we are going to move in that direction.

All of our boundaries are based on physical sensations I do not like (like no anal for me, though the hubby is welcome to it when he finds a willing woman) or things that make a complication in our personal lives, like private texting. I hate it when I'm hanging out with my hubby and he is glued to his phone and I have no idea what is going on, I don't know if he is talking to a woman, or if he is doom scrolling, but if it's a conversation, I want to be included, not excluded. This boundary makes things much harder with dating singles.

I totally get that there are a ton of different ideals people have in the LS, and that is going to make for a wide range of boundaries. We are looking for awesome new physical sensations and styles with connection, I think that type of hookup doesn't require many boundaries. If a couple is looking to share an experience with each other and not have much in the way of connections, I think a lot more boundaries are needed to keep that in it's place. But maybe I have that wrong.

What are your boundaries based on? Any crazy ones that have been such a big turn off you didn't move forward with a couple, or had them reject you?