I want to start this by saying, I know the correct way to go about this, I know what to do, and I know what needs to be done. No one that is close to me knows my partner and I are swingers. A little background, my girlfriend and I, of roughly 4.5 years started getting into the lifestyle approx 1 year ago. We’ve had plenty of threesomes with guys, and one full couple swap, which I won’t get into, but let’s just say was awful. We can leave it at the fact that the woman post swap, would not leave me alone on any social media I have attempting to get me to leave my girlfriend. That swap was about 4 months ago. Since we continued having threesomes with other guys, and said eventually we’d find another couple when the time was right. Well this week it happened. We found a couple from a neighboring city, our age, and same mindset and have been texting on and off for about a week. Of course I have been very excited, not that it is an issue, but normally my girlfriend gets all the excitement/attention which I love seeing her get. But now it was both of our times to hopefully, have an experience we have been waiting for. I was talking to the girl, and her the guy, flirting a tad, but more so just getting to know each other a little. This morning, out of nowhere my girlfriend texts me, upset, saying she is no longer okay with doing this, that she doesn’t like the fact I am texting another girl, feels jealous, and possessive over me. Saying she wouldn’t know what to do if she “saw me with another girl” and “if this is something I want, she will be holding me back and we need to end things” At this point I am shocked, something that she has loved to talk about in bed, is now her worst nightmare. Something I have been hoping to finally experience in a good way, that she has been able to for months. I don’t argue with her, we had that agreement when we first started all this, we could become monogamous again no questions asked at any time. I know the way things will go, we will be monogamous again, no issues, and live our life happily together. I mean there is a beautiful ring hidden in the house for when the time is right and I can finally call her my fiancé. But deep down I feel, I’m not sure how to put it, maybe disappointed is the word. I feel as though she had quite a bit of fun during this with other men, I mean I throughly enjoyed myself. But I feel as though, she got to shine, be the one who had all the attention, have great sex. I was excited to finally experience that, with the right couple. My question, or more so what I need to hear from someone. Is that this is a normal feeling. That I am not crazy for feeling maybe “left out?” I feel confused on the sudden change of heart. Any and all advice, words of wisdom, whatever you can add would be lovely, as no one close to me knows this about us, which is causing me to have no one to talk to, except myself. Thank you all in advance.

Edit - we got into this for all the right reasons, not for anything other to have new experiences and be with the person who we know we want for the rest of our lives. A good way to put it would probably be is. I feel she go to experience all the things she wanted to, and now feels fulfilled with them. While I am left with experiences that will never happen.